I’m not talking about expressing emotions or expressing one’s opinions. I am talking about expressing anal glands. Are you going to leave here today armed with the knowledge to express your pet’s anal glands? No. Your take away is I don’t have the slightest clue how to express an anal gland.
Why, oh why, would someone think to send me this:
I cannot imagine what I have done to make this person think this skill is even remotely in my repertoire.
Google is my lifeline and now that 97% of all civilized humanity has a “smart” phone, there is no earthly reason to ask anyone this question other than your veterinarian. And when I suggested she contact the vet next door, I jest not, it’s the driveway you pass immediately before ours! How do you not see the giant red sign that says EMERGENCY VET?!
This is one of those moments that just makes me laugh. I swear some higher being sits around and thinks who can I fuck with today? Ooh ooh, let’s ask her the most ridiculous question we can think of. I’m in for $50 she knows the answer.
The other thing that struck me odd about this text is WHO is smelling their dog’s ass? I cannot even begin to think why anal glands were believed to be the culprit of the odor. Very often Coe will let loose these almost silent, little puffs of a fart while she’s napping. These delicate little pouffs are sometimes so noxious they can peel paint. I just think, no more asparagus (broccoli, cauliflower, garlic…) for you. Not once have I ever thought, we need to express your anal glands.
I’ve think expressed enough for one day myself.
I have had quite a week. I saw Bob Dylan, had babies, found a new favorite watering hole, and got a bottle tree. While I’ve still not entirely recovered from all this excitement, I knew exactly what photo I would post for this week’s challenge.
It’s always interesting when you go back through all your pictures and find patterns you didn’t entirely realize were there. I know I like miniatures and macro, but I am finding that I also like intricate patterns where there seem to be done.
Hope your Saturday is as beautiful as mine is making out to be.
In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo
This week’s Photo Challenge theme is Motion. I knew right away which photos I would be posting. We had what seemed like quite a bit of snow this winter. Coe and I both LOVED it now that we live right by Shelby Farms. I wasn’t sure which one of us would be more tired after our outings, but she quickly told me that while she may be a little more senior, she could kick my ass on any given snow day.
This is the epitome of a girl on the go!
We tromped around for hours finding creeks we didn’t know were there.
I think she knows I’m writing about the park because she has started staring at me with the pre-walk eagle eye. off we go…
I know it has been ages since I have posted and it hasn’t been for lack of wanting, thinking, or trying. I’ve started no less than a dozen posts and just haven’t found the right words, the right feeling, or the right mood.
This morning, that changed. Clearly, since I’m here. I’ve mentioned before how hard this move has been, but today I woke feeling like the old Lula; motivated and creative. I’ve got a pot of soup simmering on the stove and other ingredients sitting at the ready for the next project.
I have moved, yet again, since we were last together. Pipes bursting in a freeze forced that on me, but it really was for the best. I now live on the edge of a ginormous park where Coe and I walk several times daily. We have a new boarder, unlike the last unwanted roomies, this one is a delightful change. She also has at least one bun in the oven and living in a little bird house on my patio.
Ginger kitty isn’t happy she has been banished from our patio for awhile, but she’ll get over it.
I’ll soon be posting a collage of photos from the last few months (MONTHS?!!). I’ve been going through and sorting them. A few great gems- food, new friends, holidays, snow, family, and a wedding…
Enjoy your beautiful weekend, wherever it may find you. Coe and I are off for our first walk of the day.
And they clearly missed the memo. My last house, they generally abided by the rules. Stay out there, stay up there… You get to live. Come down here… Die.
There are spiders everywhere! If I unpack a box and toss it in the carport to breakdown later, mere minutes later, there a big black spider taking up residence. They dash across the living room floor.
The worst was the tiny one in my car last weekend. I’m certain the people in the cars around me thought I was having a seizure. All the while I was batting and flailing at the minuscule monster, I kept thinking of NPR’s Car Talk. There was a story about a woman who was trying to sell her car CHEAP and the man looking at it couldn’t figure out what could be so wrong for her to walk away from a perfectly good car.
At least Ginger is finding some pleasure in her new toys. She certainly is not earning her keep by keeping them at bay.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
I may never move again…
Unless it’s to New Orleans, DC, or a tropical beach paradise. I’ve had such a hard time getting involved in anything outside of work and meeting folks. The last time I moved to a new city I had just graduated college and had a few friends in the same town. Starting from scratch is hard work. I’ve really had a difficult time staying positive.
This past weekend we moved into our new house!! I have my bed. (Win!!) The living room is my most chaos free zone (less furniture, it was easier to set up).
We are swimming in a sea of strategically placed boxes. I have a path through the kitchen. The mover really messed me and hid my dishes in an unmarked box.
I learned from my neighbor I’m on a rails to trails project called the Green Line. Not only do we have a lovely neighborhood for our morning walk, we now have easy access to nice long walks on the weekends without getting in the car.
I’ve been looking at different ways to volunteer as a way of getting out and meeting folks. This past weekend I volunteered at the Cooper Young Regional Brewfest. I’d found a Mississippi beer that’s quite tasty and when I checked out their website I found the beer-fest.
I don’t have internet access at the house yet. I’ve been doing everything on my phone (so I hope all these photos look ok and sorry the formatting looks so wonky)
Now that we are settling in and the funk seems to be lifting, I’ll be back to to posting more. I’ve mostly decided to stick with my anti-Facebook stance. I think I’m willing to do it, then fb creeps me out again.
Thanks friends for all the cheerleading and support y’all have sent my way. It’s been a huge help!
I’ve started half a dozen posts. Each one tells a different story and has a different emotional bent. My emotions and thoughts about this move have changed every 15 minutes. One minute I’m sobbing uncontrollably, the next I’m laughing, and the next I’m bored.
I’ve been ready for a change for awhile and I know once I get settled in a space I can call my own and make a few friends I’ll be ok with this. In the mean time though… This transition is a little tough.
I’ve never had a training course with my employer that has not made me feel like a complete dunce. This is no exception. Once I’ve finished all the horrible training classes and moved into whatever the new job has been, I’ve be able to feel successful. This class is truly the worst class I’ve ever taken. The instructors are disorganized and don’t know the topics they are teaching. How can you expect me to be successful if I am not being taught by someone successful? Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. I’m in the middle of that adage.
That in itself has made this move even more stressful. What has made it bearable are my new neighbors. I’ve met a couple of other professional folks who are also in limbo. We’ve been meeting for dinner and drinks to commiserate about our respective jobs.
Ginger is making sure I plenty of snuggles. Coe makes sure I get out for a walk every day. I’m sure I’ll look back on this time and forget how horrible this part feels. In the meantime, pass the beer nuts.
I’m taking suggestion on where to find good cocktails in Memphis!
The last three months have been a tumultuous whirlwind. The topper came about a week and a half ago when I got a job offer in MEMPHIS with less than three weeks to report for my first day!
I have the most amazing friends and family here in Portland. I am leaving connections I’ve spent all of my adult life building and nurturing. This move truly is bittersweet. So many things have had to happen in such a small window and all of them have magically fallen into place. I know I have a guardian angel who is looking out for me.
I’ve been remiss in telling you about my slowing healing. I am not a patient patient and this shoulder injury has been a colossal nuisance! This move would have been a tremendous nightmare, and really, impossible without the help of my friends and family.
I know this move is the right thing for me at this time. I’m starting a new chapter. I’ve purged 80% of all my belongings. I had a lot of crap! There are some things I still can’t bear to part with. My new mantra going forward is if I do not have a specific, immediate use for an item, I will not buy it.
But really, I have been in Portland all of my adult life. Almost 25 years!! I never thought I’d be here this long. Being from the south, I’ve always looked at things a little differently from my west coast counterparts. The first year I was in Oregon, I was always over dressed. I went through my hippy/hiking/no shaving phase. I am not covered in tattoos, though I do have my next one picked out. Now I find myself wanting to be more of a girl. Which is funny because I have never been a girly-girl. I’ve wandered off topic…
Thank you Portland. Thank you friends. I am going to miss you so much.
Stay tuned for how this new chapter unfolds.