Walkabout Wednesday 


, , , , , , ,

Coe and I got out for a walk this morning after a storm last night. Tree branches now littering our path are the only signs something happened last night. I wish I could see the pond at this hour to see how much it got filled. Down here, people talk about any rain in inches. When my mother was visiting she asked if I had a rain gauge. That is knowledge that has no (direct) bearing on my life.

I’m having such a hard time with the darkness and getting my walks in. Coe and I have no problem walking in the morning in the dark. But when I get home in the evening and it’s dark again, I have trouble getting myself out for that walk. By then the darkness makes me want to curl up and enjoy a glass of wine.

The snack cart is in full swing and has been going gangbusters. It’s so popular, we’ve actually been running two carts some days and selling out! I’ve mastered boiling 30 eggs at a time. A skill I never knew I’d need.

I forgot to put my phone in my pocket yesterday, but I’m pretty sure I got my 10k +++ steps in.

Happy Hump Day all!

A restless mind


, , , , , , ,

Dog at my feet
Cat is her own master
Light shines in from the street
Dreams come slow, then a little faster.

Breathing deep
So close to sleep
Dog snores ebb and flow
Cat purrs while chasing shadows

The day drifts in and out
Building noises dance about
My morning laughter lingers
A scratch, a collar jingles

Mind racing, can’t seem to stop
Just as suddenly, the curtain drops

Word of the month: Doppelgänger


, , , , , , , , ,



They always says things like we look like our cars, our pets, or our spouses. Do we look like these things because we spend so much time with them or are we drawn to the things that are most like ourselves?

I have met a couple of nice, normal fellas from the dating site. Two of these meetings have been a dog walk. I told J that Coe has black fur with gray.  That well, we both do. When I tell people Coe’s age, I really want to lie. I don’t have this vanity about myself, but I do for my dog. When I tell people her age, I always quickly follow it with “but she doesn’t know it.” In our move, we found a new vet. The doctor said her favorite comment in Coe’s chart was “she’s aging gracefully.”  I’d like to say the same for myself.

As a kid, my parents were older than my friend’s parents and my siblings are so much older than I am.  I think this is why I’ve always been a terrible judge of age. I remember mothers when I was a kid, and they were old. People tell me I don’t look my age. I certainly try not to act my age.  Neither Coe nor I act our age. She may look her age a little more than I do. 

I think Coe may be my doppelgänger. Lula Harp certainly is.


Merriam-Webster defines Doppelgänger as

: a ghostly counterpart of a living person
: double
: alter ego


Oxford English Dictionary gives us this:

Etymology: German doppelgänger or Dutch dubbelganger double-goer.

The apparition of a living person; a double, a wraith.

1830   Scott Lett. Demonol. & Witchcraft 178 (note) ,   He..may probably find it to be his own fetch or wraith or double-ganger.


This is the first time I feel like the OED isn’t really complete. This is the original definition, while the more modern use doesn’t have the negative or evil connotation. MW touches on the more modern use of the alter ego or double, as does the Urban Dictionary.  I found the Urban Dictionary the most entertaining definition.

Someone that looks the exact same as another person. yet not a twin. ghost identical to living person: an apparition in the form of a double of a living person

yo i saw someone that looked just like u…could have been your doppelganger


When I was trying to come up with this month’s word, I asked a couple people what it should be. My physical therapist suggested this word. This topic had been rolling around in the back of my mind for awhile, not necessarily this word. Eric had sent the art a week before and I thought David’s suggestion was just right.

Do you have a doppelgänger?

She’s not in the city anymore…


, , ,

I miss my time on the train to write and read. I have driven more miles in the last year than I have driven in the last five! Cities and communities in the south are not laid out to be walker friendly. You drive everywhere!

One of the biggest indicators I’m not in a city-city anymore are the critters. There’s roadkill everywhere here of all shapes, sizes, and kinds. When Coe and I go for our morning walk, very often we interrupt deer grazing. We hear frogs of all kinds and we see bugs of every imaginable size. 

One thing that I like is pulling into work. We have several ponds in our “compound” and lots of green space. Very often this summer I had to stop for duckling or goslings to cross the street. So often we are all drawn to the windows to see the swarm of geese that have graced the lawn. 

One morning I saw a HUGE moth. I couldn’t figure out if it was dead, so I left it alone.  It was still there when I left later so I picked it up. Today, though, it was pretty clear this fella was no more. 

He’s sitting on my desk now. It’ll be interesting to see how long it takes for a coworker to realize he’s there. It’ll be more entertaining to see their reaction!

Happy Thursday!

Happiness in bloom


, , , , , , , ,

I’ve barely had a moment to sit still and write the last week. My happiness campaign is in full swing and I’ve worn my fingers to the bone. I’m the head of our annual fundraising committee. They’ve been doing the same events year after year after year… Yawn.

Last year I suggested a snack cart, kinda like the mountain man if you are familiar with that, rolling through the office with chips, candy, juice, fruit… you name it.  Everything on the cart was $1. What?! No one is going to pay a dollar when they can walk to the cafeteria and get it for .75! The naysayers were put to shame. We made $1350!! Needless to say, the snack cart will be rolling again very soon.

This year I wanted to do more small fun things to spread joy across the department so I suggested flower pencils. Again… $1. Again… Naysayers. They have a little hang tag I designed with a frilly font for you to send a happy flower-gram to a coworker.  We SOLD OUT the first day. Made $125.

This is the backseat of my car full of flower pencils!

This is the special, all pink, breast cancer bouquet complete with pink ribbon pencils.

Since Monday I have spent every waking minute making more flower pencils. And we’ve had requests for pens so I’m making those too. Tomorrow is our site-wide fall festival and I’ve been frantically making flowers in hopes of selling out again. My poor little fingers are worn out, but well worth it.

I’ve signed up for Blogging 201, but I’ve not had a minute to do the work. I’ll get caught up in a few days. Spreading the love is way more rewarding at the moment!

Let the happiness reign!

Do Nothing…


, , , , , , ,

I really have a hard time doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. A week at home sick just about killed me. Sitting for a week has almost been worse than the actual snotty nose and wracking cough. Now that I’m starting to feel better, but l don’t have quite the energy to do anything, I’m really bored.

I want to read, but not anything I have on hand. I want a cocktail, but not really. I want to draw, but I’m not great. I at least put pencil to paper… I want to watch tv, but there’s nothing I really want to watch.


That weird limbo between sick, recovery, and healthy… I’ve had all the pudding and soup I can stand. I want food, but not sure what sounds good.

Wishy washy sucks


the language we speak…


, , , , , , , ,

This morning is the first day I’ve woken up feeling moderately human. I actually woke at 7:12am saying is it monday? is it monday? OMG I’m going to be late. As it turns out, it is sunday; but when you’ve been off work for a week, trapped at home, and hopped up on drugs, you lose track of time.

I was starting to feel better yesterday. Actually got a shower and out of the house for a few minutes, even if just to go buy dog food. I had to get out of the house as I was on the verge of a tiny meltdown. I really miss Portland. I miss my neighborhood Vietnamese restaurant with my favorite pho (extra important when sick). I miss being able to walk to the grocery store. I miss all the weird creative types. and I really, REALLY miss my friends and community dinners.

I am trying so hard to meet new people and I have made some wonderful, wonderful new friends. But starting from scratch is so hard. My favorite new friend and I bonded over a moment at a women’s get-to-know-you game, where I gave a true glimpse of the real Lula. One of the ladies said I find it so hard to make new friends now that I’m over 40. Off the cuff, without even thinking, I said “I find it so hard to make new friends because most of the time I’m thinking you’re an idiot and I wish you’d just shut the fuck up.” This got a laugh from the table, but I immediately worried who I had offended. Little did I know, my message was received and shared by two of the ladies at the table.

So often since coming to Memphis, I feel like I’m speaking a foreign language. People don’t say what they mean and don’t mean what they say. So me, in my true self, speak frankly and honestly, cannot get anyone to give me a straight answer because they aren’t actually hearing the words I am saying, and not interpreting them in the literal sense I intend. I’ve never been good at game playing, other than to stir the pot. I’m a master pot-stirrer ;)

Other than going to church, or volunteering, how do you recommend connecting with other people? I’m looking for any and all suggestions, no matter how ridiculous.

the old woman and her allergies


, , , , , , ,

Tea cups and tissues everywhere
The big chair is my lair

Orange juice in the fridge
Chicken soup, ok just a smidge

A week off work would be grand
Except a cold is never planned.

The pets won’t even snuggle
I’m left alone with my struggle

oh, I’m sure I’ll be fine
I just need more time

For the pollen to go away
And never come, not any other day
On this I do not sway.

the goldfish pond


, , , , , , , ,

there is little creativity in my bones
there is even less in my head
for it is so full of snot

I think I blew my nose too hard
with it went my brain, maybe not

my ears are full of static
goldfish swimming circles
coffee and toasted bread

now I’m going back to bed


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 226 other followers