What a conundrum…


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A quandary, a riddle, a conundrum… No matter how I look at it, I’ve got a question… Or do I have a riddle wrapped in a question?  Maybe I just have a puzzling question or a problem. Are conundrums the same as doldrums?  

Where am I going with this rambling rant of non-sensical drivel? The entire first paragraph are examples of a conundrum.  Most recently, or at least since about 1800, we have associated the word with a puzzling problem that needs resolution.  My most recent conundrum is there is a fella on the dating site that I would be genuinely interested in.  I sent him a message and he never responded.  A week or so later, I am fairly certain I saw him at the dog park.  We said Good Morning and kept on our respective walks.  My conundrum is, do I send him a message and ask if was him or ask how he enjoyed the dog park (a little stalkerish), or do I just roll on and forget about it?

The Oxford English Dictionary advises while the origin of the word conundrum is lost, the earliest recorded use of the word is 1596. But the word possibly originated in some university joke, or as a parody of some Latin term of the schools, which would agree with its unfixed form in 17–18th century as a pun or play on words with similar sounds.

I am dying to know what is it about me or my profile that the only people who message me are the people I have ZERO interest in.  I boldly sent the following message to a couple of fellas:
This message is really more just for curiosity and personal growth than anything, but what about my profile wasn’t of interest or made you not want to respond to my original message? My inbox is full of hey, hi, and inarticulate drivel from people I have no interest in. I’m trying to figure out how to make an actual connection on this site and if that’s actually possible.

I think my real conundrum is HOW to meet a fella I have something in common with that does not involve a sales pitch and the internet.  I volunteer in my community, I am at the park daily, I go to public watering holes where the opposite sex visit, and I am making an effort to be more visually appealing (as my mother told me, I put on lipstick).  If I were willing to date someone in my office, my social calendar would be full.  I had to laugh the other day, I had a guy nearly trip over himself checking me out.  I assure you this DOES NOT happen in the real world.

This whole online dating thing is making me a little conundrumed (1629; crotchety or slightly crazed).  I’ve gussied up the display racks, the store shelves are stocked with merchandise, and the Open sign is lit.  But no one is shopping in my store. Part of the conundrum is why am I doing this if no one is interested in my wares?  I think my store is too progressive and too bold for this market.  I feel like a voodoo priestess who just set up shop in Utah.



A couple side notes:  The awesome art here is from my friend at Draw Eric.  Please check out his other work.


I love Eric’s work.  We have been friends since college when we met in an art class.  We have been through so many of life’s ups and downs together.  He sent me the art a couple weeks ago and I haven’t looked at it again until today when I sat down to plug it into my blog.  It struck me how his images (both of them) so perfectly reflect and complement the words that flowed out of me today.  The top image is a maze or convoluted path leading to or around a heart.  The bottom image is the dragon I think these weird Memphis fellas think I am.

Label me this


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A friend of mine hassles me a bit when I call myself a geek, dork, or a nerd.

But for me I’ve been to so many different labels, they really don’t really mean anything anymore.

I wrote before about the power we give words. That’s kind of what I think of labels. They only have the power that we give them. I’ve been (I am) black sheep, tomboy, preppy, treehugger, feminist, leftist, hippy, loudmouth, bitch, know it all, asshole, sister, daughter, friend…. It’s an endless list.

One thing I learned very early one in my current job is stereotypes exist for a reason. They aren’t always accurate, they may be outdated, and horribly offensive. But they have developed over time because there is some “thing” in all cultures or societies that has fed this.

I’ve been a cheerleader of WordPress since I first found it. I love WordPress. The community, the ease, and the support (the app… so-so). I’ve connected in the real world to other WP users and tonight I reached out to some here in Memphis. Holy Moly! What a bunch of geeks. I sat there for an hour and half and I have almost NO idea what the hell these people were talking about. They were all developers and programmers, not bloggers and writers.

Do you remember the old Saturday Night Live skit where Eddie Murphy disguised himself as a white man to get a loan at a bank? That guy was at this meeting! Also in attendance was the comic book store guy from the Simpsons. That stereotype that nerds have no social skills? Well, the woman leading the gathering didn’t introduce anyone. She acknowledged there were new people there, and asked if the new folks had a rudimentary understanding of WP, but jumped right into a slideshow about plugins and php. I giggled when I was telling my friend about this meeting and her response was, but you’re a geek. I am a wee tadpole of a geek compared to these fellas.

Just so you don’t this this is a judgemental rant about geeks. It’s not. I’ve always been an interloper and a bit of a chameleon. I used to manage a software and video game store long before I owned my first computer. My regulars would buy a new game on day one. When they’d come in the next day, I ask them about their favorite parts and they’d tell me in great detail. I’d then use that nugget to tell the next customer that would come in and ask me about the game.

Gratefully, the gathering didn’t last as long as scheduled. I knew going in I wasn’t going to make it to the end since my alarm goes off so early. But, I am now fully prepared for the next cocktail party when someone ask me what my thoughts are on multisite, smush, or the best plugins for site optimization. I can answer that.

A trip not taken


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  Today’s prompt is a map. What a map reminds me of, are the things on my to do list that have gotten shoved aside with the madness of my last 15 months. It reminds me of bittersweet trips I’ve taken, of trips I’ve missed, of unexpected trips, and the elusive trip.

The number one thing on my to do list that I’m embarrassed to say is… I need to renew my passport. And lately this one just glares at me daily. I can tell you there have been other expenses that have been more important at the time, I’ve filled out the forms and they sat on my desk gathering dust because I haven’t gotten a haircut, or I didn’t have a stamp, or some other excuse.

On the dating website, there are a series of questions to answer. Some seem rather innocuous and others are embarrassingly revealing. But the one I cannot bring myself to answer, until I can answer it the way I want, is: Do you have a current passport?

This may sound kinda snobby, and a little telling about me, but I cannot believe I haven’t left the country in 10 *TEN* years. I miss the exploration of different cultures, dishes, views, and histories. I’ve been traveling and exploring our own country, but it just isn’t the same. I think most folks who have travelled abroad will agree with that.

To do… ASAP… Renew passport. Actually I’m having a good hair day and my outfit looks very nice. I’m going to stop and have my passport photo taken today.

Dorky selfie 😏

Heaps o’ praise


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I spent Sunday morning sitting in my big chair, sipping coffee, surfing the web, reading blogs, and cleaning out my inbox. I’m sure you’ve noticed, I’ve been writing more lately. I love my friends who send texts and emails to reply to my blog posts. They’ve been quite complimentary (she blushes).  Additionally, I have found a group of bloggers that offer support, commiserate, and give good feedback. In the cheerleader crowd I have a few friends who have graciously bestowed some lovely awards on me and I’ve been remiss in saying thank you.

I want to thank these folks for being such awesome cheerleaders and for saying such nice things. Part of accepting your award is you have to answer some questions. Since I’m running behind, I’m going to cherry pick questions from each of them.

the girl from Hoeville

If you were to choose between a two-way ticket to the moon or an unlimited air ticket to travel around the world, what would you choose?
no question about it… the unlimited air ticket around the world! see the next question
The five things in your bucket list that you already crossed out?
Traveled to Australia, traveled to Alaska, got a tattoo, New Years in Time Square….. and some other stuff that at the moment isn’t coming to me (at least until I hit publish)
Are you a lefty or a righty?
At the moment, I’m kinda both. This was never a goal or desire, but life’s circumstances has made it happen.


Mind and Life Matters

What was your choice of career when you were a kid?
I think it changed daily. At some point along the way I wanted to be a Rabbi, a police officer, a newscaster, and a veterinarian.
Your all-time favorite book or movie would be?
Books: Fool on the Hill and Tartine Bread
What according to you is a good day?
I always say this jokingly, but it is true… Every day above ground is a good day.


Invisible World Where Imagination Soars

Give a brief story of how your blog got started, and give a piece or two of advice to new bloggers. Thank whoever (Megan the Imaginative) nominated you, and provide a link to their blog. List who you’ve nominated in the post.
Provide a link to the original post on Edge of Night. That way, anyone can find the original guidelines and post if needed.
I started my blog as a place to record my cooking foibles, recipes, and experiments. I needed a space that I would help clear my head and connect me with other creatives.

The advise I offer is be yourself. Write for you. Don’t censor yourself because you think Aunt May will be upset that you spilled the family beans.



What do you like most about the present situation?
My patio. It looks out onto the 120 acre park where Coe and I spend the better portion of our days
What is the role of gratitude in your life?
This is one of those things that each person has to come to in their own way. When we are children, our parents tell us to say Thank you and very often we don’t understand the Why. I have always thanked my employees for a job well done and thanked someone who served me in a restaurant. But until I broke my shoulder and really had to ask for help, gratitude was almost superficial… that isn’t the right word, but I hope you know what I mean. Now I can say it’s genuine and heartfelt. I am genuinely grateful for all I have in my life, my amazingly supportive friends and family, and the life I am still living and am able to live.
Has blogging enriched your life? How?
Blogging has connected me to another world. One I would never have found if I hadn’t started blogging. I have found all these great folks and so many more!


These awards are akin to a modern-day chain letter, you pass it on. And I would like to share the love with…

Liebster: Barking Back


Sunshine 1:  Dragons Rule OK


Sunshine 2:  Afthead



Blogger:  B’s Words



Here is my list of questions for my nominees:

  1. What are 6 things you couldn’t live without?
  2. What time of day do you do your best writing/work?
  3. Biscuit or scone?
  4. Favorite season?
  5. What are your thoughts on social media?
  6. Favorite way to end the day?
  7. Best trip?
  8. Would you eat at a restaurant that was really dirty if the food was amazing?
  9. How important is it to you to learn something new?
  10. Have you ever flipped a coin to make an important decision?


I will admit, I have sort of bastardized the “rules” and taken many liberties.  To those whom I’ve tossed the baton, please link to those that gave to me for all the official rules.  Or feel free to run wild as I have done ;)

Thanks to all my new friends who feed my creativity and thank you to all my old friends who give me entertaining things to write about XOXO

A boy and a girl 


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Sunday night was the lunar eclipse and I watched with 100+ of my closest friends. Hanging out in the dark with a bunch of strangers was quite romantic. Ha! It just reinforced I need a date! It also brought to mind that silly camp song…

Just a boy and a girl in a little canoe
With the moon shining all around
As he glides his paddle
You couldn’t even hear a sound

And they talked and they talked
Till the moon grew dim
He said you better kiss me
Or get out and swim…

Y’all voted and the winner is….

You are picking my next fella. All three of these guys (I can’t say gentlemen) emailed this weekend. Below is an excerpt of their profile, their photo, and their email.


Your choices are:


My self-summary: Adventurous, intelligent, creative man looking for a new adventure.

I have a very well-rounded collection of interests.
Love movies, intelligent conversations, car shows, museums, video games, trying new cuisine, trivia, travel, outdoors, football, reading, playing guitar, karaoke, cuddling, etc.

His email said:  Hello there. I like your profile. You are very beautiful. Having any luck on here? I bet we would hit it off. Let’s talk.



My self-summary

I’m an honest,basic,down to earth man. I lead a fairly active life like doing side jobs,excercisng,socializing,and i like to do just about anything.i’m into sports,music,outdoors,camping,movies,shows,bike riding,playing sports(tennis,bowling,raquetball…),walks on the beach,among other things.i also like to do whatever your into.would like you to be honest,romantic,fairly aggressive,attractive,into some of my interests,among other things that will be revealed as we get to know each other…
His email said:  hello, how are u doing today and how is life treating, hope fine do u mind me getting to know u better?



Just fun cool laid back guy that have dreams and goals for the future.

What I’m doing with my life: Im in college so i can advance my education and im hustling struggling but im tryna survive

I’m really good at: Making beats and writing music. Playing sports and geting along with people.

His email said:   How are you doing? My name is Wayne and I’m not going to lie you are very attractive to me. Can I get to know you?


As of now, this week’s calendar is mostly open.  How this weekend shapes up is up to you dear friends… Speak now or forever hold your peace.

the unknown tools


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I am constantly surprising myself, especially when I find tools in my toolbox I didn’t know I had.

I just spent over an hour on the phone with my mother after spending 2+ days doing in-home tech support.  I’m not sure which one of us exhibited more patience during this process.  She keeps saying she wants things to happen NOW, and hates waiting.  Ultimately, that is what I am trying to do for her.  While she is convinced I’m trying to drive her to an early grave, I am really trying to make her technology experience more “one click does it all”.

I’ve mentioned before that I teach kindergarten (figuratively, not literally) and in my day job, I create all sorts of job-aids and tutorials.  I have begrudgingly come to the realization my brain works differently than your brain, or her brain, or my students brains.  As such, I have to speak a little differently, a little slower, come up with analogies that are a little easier to grasp, and make different associations.  Sometimes these come to me like a flash.  I’m always surprised and delighted when it happens, and it works.

We had a little family issue this week and I surprised myself with how I was able to just roll with it, quietly move things in the direction I wanted it to go, and it ended without a huge row.  We all have our buttons, and I know how to push my mothers.  My sister has spent 60 years mastering how to push our mother’s buttons.  My mother falls into the trap every time.  Having me there, I was able to sidestep the traps.

As we age, hopefully we learn something from all that life throws at us.  I have never been very patient, and I have never been very understanding of those whose thought processes are vastly different from mine.  Living in Oregon for the last 25 years, I was surrounded by like minded folks, who were technologically adept, and socially left.  Being back in the south… Every one of my buttons is being pushed on a daily basis.  I just go back to my students, and think about how I deal with them.  I do this professionally every day.  I can certainly apply this to my life and personal relationships.


This week has been Yom Kippur, and there was a paragraph in the service that really spoke to me:

Forgiven the past, renewed for tomorrow
May we go forth with rejoicing,
To a year of great goodness.

What happened in the past is the past.  This new year will be a good year.  All my tools are tucked in my tool belt and ready to be accessed at any time.


Now, I’m giving y’all one last chance to tell me how you want to help my dating process.  Please click on your vote below and on Monday, I’ll be posting the results.


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